( )

(I think I remembered you that day,
It was a stunning day, I dare say,
The clouds were soft and the trees were lush,
The air filled and saturated by this content and overwhelming hush.
It was as if the world knew,
And the earth, who saw and agreed, said, "I should fall in love with you.")

Wait, actually it was...

(I think I remembered it as a cool Autumn afternoon,
It was a nice early evening, I remembered that the moon would have been out soon,
The leaves a kaleidoscope of earthy tones, the grass a soft yellow,
The breeze carried with it this sense of ease and the air was mellow.
It was as if the dying day,
And the dying seasons, who saw and agreed, said, "Go on and kiss him before he gets away.")

Wait no, no I think it was...

(Now I think it was a cloudy, winter day,
It was wet and cold and I think I wouldn't have had it any other way.
The sky a monotone of grey, the trees black and bare,
The atmosphere filled with dread and despair,
But it was alright, cozy by the fire,
And the stoned hearted ice, even said, "If you say you don't like him, you'll be a liar.")

Wait no I think it didn't actually happen.
Never mind.

Sorry I haven't been posting, busy with sucking at life.

God fucking dammit it CIE,
Screw you.
Not, only putting a History and English Lit paper on the same day,
An outline paper and a prose and poetry paper,
Not you have to screw me over with a fucking passage based from hell.
A long poem!
A fucking long ass poem.
WTFFFFFFFFFF,
dear people of Cambridge, I hope your happy, screwing me over,
Yeah sure I could have done the essay question,
IF only I had the opportunity to neglected my History,
I do not have the luxury of playing your game Cambridge,
UGHHHHHHHHHH
You, I hate you.

Normality and the progress of guilt.

Throughout my life, people have created and deposited guilt onto me. 

Like some sort of terrible pearl, and from and uglier clam, the flaws I cannot control,

String together in a guilty necklace or a flawed pearl noose around my neck.  

But I have come to realised that they do not have the power to succumb my mortality,

and that individually, the spheres of reflective flaws cannot inflict damage,

I just carry on, with the string slack and drooped.

But to realise that I can control the length and the distance of this noose of pearls, 

There is also a suden realisation that I cannot control the pearls that are formed across,

The necks of others, even if these guilty, glossy circles where mine to begin with,

And that they by default have obtained, and by default they have to bear,

Because of my flaws, and because they embrace them.

it is unfair that the burden is split, and that I have chosen to give,

And their willingness to take, and the share.

Because,

It is one thing to give grief to someone.

It is something else to be the grief for someone. 

Mornings

Indigo, violet sky, with streaks of scarlet and pink shattered in-between.

We have waited for so long.

Since the moon was still up, since the stars shone bright,

On top of the dewy lush grass, 

Your sweater was grey and soft, and smelt of a mornings with your scent lingering in the folds.

An arm to hold me, a chest to lean on, a heartbeat to feel. 

You said my eyes caught on fire, by the light of dawn.

I said your hair was a blaze with young sunlight.

You held me closer, and I was encased in your warmth.

Ceremony.

Cute, clear skies and baby pink ties.
Beautiful white, pure carnations, and slivery, sparkling sensations.
The aisle paved with gold, on a dock, rustic and old.
Big smiles and larger grins, oh my head, how it spins!
Hand in hand, beneath the cool air, look at everyone, look how they stare!
A pair of twin rings, and the sounds of a dove, listen, hear it sing!
Under the watchful eye of the sun we say our vows, sunlight seeping through willow boughs,
Look at us, together in holy matrimony, indeed, my love, what a ceremony!

Last night

I thought of you last night.

The way you smelt,

Intoxicatingly strong,

Unbearably melancholic,

Fatally sweet. 

Unconsciously I breathed deeper.

I recalled your smile,

Boyishly charming,

Ruggedly handsome,

Utterly radiant. 

I didn't realize my lips were curled.

I heard your laugh.

Sheepishly adorable,

Youthfully loud,

Fondly innocent. 

I sighed in contentment.

I felt your touch.

Comfortingly warm,

Unsettlingly safe,

Temporary escape.

I felt a wetness on my cheek. 

With me.

Hop, jump, skip, dance, twirl, pose, embrace, fall. 

With me.

Love, lust, desire, passion, destroy, hurt, bleed and die. 

With me.

Breathe, inhale, hold, release, submerge, drown, float and sleep. 

With me.

Touch, tease, pinch, punch, slash, cut, shoot and kill. 

With me.

With me. 

With me.

With me.